Adventure of Bill and the Myrs Book 3 Twisted Christmas
by masteratwriting42
Summary: Christmas has come to Jeer but not all is joy as it should be. Bill and Sam must rescue the Etched Champion from the Golgari and save Christmas.


The Adventures of Bill and The Myrs

A Twisted Christmas

Prologue

This is story of how Christmas came to the Island of Jeer on plane of Nirn. Although called Saturalia by the people of Tamriel. Christmas or Saturalia had a bigger impact on the people of Jeer. The Etched Champion and his Peace Myrs brought Joy and presents to Jeer. They were like Santa's soldiers. They did Santa's work on Jeer while Santa delivers gifts throughout other planes with the help of different Planeswalkers. But soon the Etched Champion disappeared and its up to Bill and Samantha to find him. Enjoy the story and have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

1

Christmas Joy Turns to Christmas Death

" _Wake up Bill, it's Christmas,"_ said Copper.

"I'm up, I'm up. Calm down, Copper," I said.

" _Come on, Sam and the other myrs are waiting for you outside,"_ said Copper.

I got dressed and went outside. It was cold, almost to the point where it could snow.

"It's about time, Babe," said Samantha.

"Come on Sam, you know how long I sleep," I said.

"Yes, I know," said Samantha.

" _Come and sit, Alpha and Omega are going to tell us a story,"_ said a Myr.

We all sat around a pine tree that was not very big.

Then Alpha cleared his robotic throat and began to speak. " _Along time ago, long before Leaden became evil, lived a group of myrs called the Peace Myrs,"_ said Alpha.

" _Their leader was the Etched Champion, he and his Myrs brought Christmas joy to all the Artifact creatures,"_ said Omega.

" _Then something went wrong. The peace myrs' leader disappeared. The Myrs then began to rust and become ill,"_ said Alpha.

" _The Myrs became corrupt. They started to attack other artifact creatures,"_ said Omega.

" _But then the Myr cousins put a stop to it. They risked their lives to find the Etched Champion,"_ said Alpha.

" _When they did, peace was restored and the peace myrs became healthy,"_ said Omega.

" _Also when this was happening, was also when Leaden escaped,"_ said Alpha.

" _The end,"_ said Omega.

When the story was finished Samantha and I were going to our tent when we were stopped by Alpha.

" _Bill, Samantha, I need your help,"_ he said.

"What is it?" I asked.

" _The Myrs, they're feeling ill. Just this morning I saw little alloy coughing up mana,"_ said Alpha.

"What can we do to help?" asked Samantha.

" _It's just as I feared, the Etched Champion has disappeared. My wife and I need you to find him,"_ said Alpha.

"Great, another creature we need to find to help us save the Myrs," I said.

"Come on Bill, the Myrs have given us comfort and a place to live. We owe them one," said Samantha.

"Oh, fine, but we leave in twenty minutes," I said.

" _Thank you,"_ said Alpha.

" _Talk to Palladium before you go, he may have things you might need for your journey,"_ said Omega.

This was going to be huge. Who knew that it would be Samantha and I that would be saving one of the heroic icons of Jeer, It's something out of a child's story book! It was Christmas and I was not going to let what ever happened to the champion happen to the rest of us.

2

I'm Dreaming of a Not So White Christmas

We came to Palladium's hut.

" _Well, if it isn't our human friends. Hello there,"_ said Palladium.

"Hello, Palladium. Alpha and Omega said you might have things for us to take on our journey," said Samantha.

" _Yes, your journey to find the Etched Champion; quite a tale, isn't it?"_ said Palladium

"Yes, very," I said.

" _Well, here you go. I hope you find these things useful,"_ said Palladium. Palladium gave us a bag of stuff that contained:

A spell book

A book of holiday songs

A map, and for some reason,

A painting of Me when we first meet the myr

"Thanks, I guess," said Samantha.

" _You're welcome,"_ said Palladium.

"What are these for anyway?" I asked.

" _Well, first you might be wondering what the painting is for, right? Well, the painting that you see now has nothing to do with it, but the frame is enchanted,"_ said Palladium.

"Enchanted? said Samantha

" _Yes, it will take you to the location the current painting is of was taken by tapping it three times,"_ said Palladium.

"What's the spellbook?" asked Samantha.

" _The spell book contains a spell called Heat Detection, which allows you to see people or robots through walls if they are giving off heat,"_ said Palladium.

"And the Map?" I said.

" _The map shows all of the island and the last known location of the Etched Champion,"_ said Palladium.

"What about the book?" I said.

" _Oh, that's just in case you get bored on your journey," said_ Palladium.

"Well, ok then, Samantha, we are leaving," I said.

" _Good bye, friends, be safe on your travels and Merry Christmas!"_ yelled Palladium as we walked off.

3

The Golgari Swarm and the Tree People

As Sam and I continued down the path towards the last known sighting of the Etched Champion we were stopped by a fork in the road.

"Which way?" I asked.

"I don't know," said Samantha.

"Hey, what's the rock say?" I said.

We went over and looked at the rock. There were two pictures: one looked like people dancing around a pit of fire and an arrow pointing to the left, the other looked like a village with robots and an arrow pointing to the right.

"That's where we need to go, Bill, to the right," said Samantha.

"Then let's go," said Bill. We headed off to the right.

Meanwhile...

" _You think keeping me here is a good idea? You won't get away with this, Jarad,"_ said the Etched Champion.

"Oh contraire, you piece of metal scrap, I will melt you down and create armor for my people; that armor will have your powers. Ha, ha, ha," said Jarad.

" _It's Christmas, and you keep here! What is your ultimate goal? Why do you do this?"_ said the Etched Champion.

"Why do I do this? So that one day the Kingdom of Azorius will fall at the feet of the Golgari," said Jarad.

" _Someone will save me,"_ said the Etched Champion.

"Yes, but by then you will be worn by my army," said Jarad.

"What army?" said the Etched Champion.

"What army?" said Jarad.

Jarad opened a metal door behind him that opened to the outside. A bunch of creatures were standing out there.

"An army of lowlifes, garbage scavengers and zombies," said Jarad.

" _That's some army you got there,"_ said the Etched Champion sarcastically.

"Silence Scrap! Not even Rakdos can withstand my army. He and his demons can just cry in a corner," said Jarad.

" _What of the other guilds; Simic, Izzet, Dimir, Boros, Gruul, Orzhov and Selesnya?"_ said the Etched champion.

"Their cities and towns will be weakened by plants and overgrowth, they will fall, then my army will move in," said Jarad.

" _You will be stopped,"_ said the Etched Champion.

"We will see if I win or lose... we will see," said Jarad

Sam and I came to the village but there was nothing there.

"The buildings! They're on fire!" said Samantha in shock.

"Someone wasn't kind to whoever lived here," I said.

"There are robot parts and tree limbs everywhere," said Samantha.

"I'm going to have a look around, Babe. Stay here," I said.

"Yes, Sweety, whatever you say," said Samantha.

Being a teen in these times sucks, but Sam and I stick together, no matter what.

Then a little sapling came running towards us.

"Aww, look Bill, isn't it cute?" said Samantha.

"Oh please, Samatha, it's just a plant," I said.

Then the thing started crying.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. Please don't cry," I said.

Then Sam and I were surrounded by trees with faces and spears. Some had magic glowing in their hands.

"Oh hello. You must be the little guy's family," I said, a little scared.

Sam and I were tied to the back of two giant tree people as they marched towards their camp. At least that's where I assumed we were going.

"Ok, look, I'm sorry for hurting the little guy's feelings; can we talk about this?" I said.

"You will have time to talk to the king before you die," said the commanding tree soldier.

"Great," I said. Then the little sapling came and stuck its tongue at me and spit in my face.

"Hey... wait, trees have tongues?" I said.

We arrived at the tree camp. When their king saw us he stood in shock.

"What are you doing? Get them out of here!" said King Tree.

"Thank you," I said.

"Wait," said a tree that looked to be the shaman.

Everyone turned around and looked at him.

"Maybe they can help us," said the tree shaman.

"Let's see. Untie them," said King Tree.

"Thank you," said Samantha.

"What do you know about the Golgari? But first, tell us who you two humans are," demanded King Tree.

"I'm Samantha, and this gentleman standing next to me is my boyfriend, Bill. We are the sworn protectors of the Myrs," said Samantha.

"Now, about the Golgari. I have only heard of them in story books my mother read to me when I was young. They were savages, pillagers, destroyers of all things good," said Bill.

"The Golgari ransacked that village where you met Seedley. Some of our members were scouting or doing trading in that area. Most of them were killed, some were taken hostage," said King Tree.

"We could help you get them back," said Samantha.

"Maybe _you_ can help _us_ as well," said Bill.

"What do you need?" said King Tree.

"We are looking for the Etched Champion. Have you seen or heard of him?" said Samantha.

"If we tell you, will you help us?" said King Tree.

"Yes," said Samantha.

"Well, we don't exactly know what an Etched Champion is, but one of our scouts saw two Golgari thugs dragging a mechanical being behind them," said the tree shaman.

"We are going to need more help. Seek out the elves, our allies; they will help you get our people back," said King Tree.

"Where are they?" asked Samantha.

"They are to the north," said King Tree.

"Then we are off to go find them," I said. Then we left to go find the elves.

"Good luck my human friends, pray to the divines that you will be safe," said King Tree as Samantha and I ran off.

4

Not the elves I expected

Sam and I traveled down the roads for many miles until we came to a gate. The gate was an entrance to a forest.

"Um, I guess you knock," said Samantha. I knocked on the gate.

"Who's there?" said a voice.

"Um, I am Bill, and this is my girlfriend Samantha. We are the protectors of the Myrs and friends of King Tree," I said.

"May we enter?" asked Samantha.

"What do seek to find inside?" said the gate guard.

"King Tree seeks help to rescue some of his people from the Golgari, and we could use help to rescue the Etched Champion from the Golgari," I said.

"Very well. You may enter," said the guard. The gate opened and Sam and I entered. The guard greeted us.

"Woah, I thought elves were shorter," I said.

"How insulting! We elves are as tall as humans. The elves you refer to are a different race of elf that reside with the Jolly man," said the guard.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend," I said.

"Humph. You are going to have speak to Nissa Revane in the palace if you need reinforcements," said the guard.

"Where is the palace?" I asked. The guard pointed down the golden brick road.

"Thank you," I said.

"What's your name by the way?" asked Samantha.

"Bartholomew," said the guard.

"Hmm, interesting name for an elf, but I like it," said Samantha. Then Sam and I walked down the gold road to the palace.

Sam and I came to the entrance of the palace and we were stopped by a guard.

"Halt! State your business, humans," demanded the guard.

"We are here to see Nissa," said Samantha.

"We need an army to rescue trees and the Etched Champion," I said.

"You may enter," said the guard. Sam and I entered the palace and inside we were greeted by an elf in fancy clothes.

"Follow me and I will take you to princess Revane," said the elf. We followed the elf down a long but decorated corridor until we came to the main throne room. A woman was standing by the throne.

"My lady," said the elf.

"Hello there, you must be Bill and Samantha," said Nissa Revane.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"You are the heroes of Jeer. Things like that tend to get noticed," said Nissa.

"Well, we need your help," I said.

"We need an army to save some tree people and the Etched Champion from the Golgari," said Samantha.

"Jarad has taken trees and a robot captive?" said Nissa Revane.

"Who's Jarad?" I asked.

"He used to be one of us... an elf, but now power and necromancy has taken over his mind," said the elf in fancy clothes.

" Good news! I just sent a letter to the army. They will be waiting for you outside the gates," said Nissa.

"We don't even know were Jarad is," said Samantha.

" I do," said a man dressed in red as he walked into the room.

"No! It can't be!" I said.

"Santa Claus!" said Samantha.

"Yes it is I, Santa Claus, also known as Kris Kringle," said Santa.

"But you're not fat, you're a buff old man," I said.

"Who said I had to be fat?" said Santa.

"What are you doing here?" asked Samantha.

"Christmas is in trouble. I may have already delivered presents across Jeer and Tamriel, but Christmas isn't finished unless Jarad wins," said Santa.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Jarad has stolen my dwemer time device. If he figures out how to work it, he will go back in time to stop me from ever being created, and when that happens Christmas will cease to exist," said Santa.

"Then we must stop him! So where is Jarad?" I said.

"He's going to be located in the swamps and tunnels of Jeer," said Santa.

"Then let's move! There's no time to waste," I said.

"Right," said Samantha.

"Good. Now I must go. Blitzen gets angry when his stall is not filled with food," said Santa Claus.

"Say hi to Rudolph for me," said Samantha.

"Will do my dear, will do," said Santa.

We left the city and headed out towards the location of the Golgari Swarm.

5

The Nutcracker Will be Cracking More Than Nuts

We meet up with the elf army outside the gates.

"Are you ready, humans?" asked the commander.

"Yes," said Samantha.

"Then let's head to the swamps of Jeer," said the elf commander.

We headed to the swamps of Jeer leaving the Elf kingdom known as Selesnya behind us.

When we arrived at the swamps there were undead everywhere. We battled our way through until we came to an entrance. "This must be the entrance to Jarad's dungeon," said the elf commander.

"Then let's get in there," I said.

We were all sneaking around the corners as we came into the dungeon. We came to a fork in the tunnels and we were not alone. We then were ambushed by two gorgons and a vampire.

"Hello mortals," said the vampire.

"You've come for our master," said one of the gorgons.

"Well, that's not going to happen," said the other gorgon.

"I dare you stare into the eyes of these lovely ladies," said the vampire.

Samantha threw an ice blast at the enemy. It froze the gorgons but the vampire stood standing.

"Silly human, I'm resistant to cold," said the vampire.

"That maybe true vampire, but you're not resistant to this," said the elf commander. Then he pulled out a glowing sword.

"Ah! What is that!" said the vampire as he covered his eyes.

"This is the dawnbreaker. I picked it up when I was in Tamriel. Most effective against the undead," said the elf commander. Then he lashed at the vampire. The vampire screamed as he turned into ash.

"Well, that's over with. Let's go find Jarad," said an elf soldier. We hurried our way through the tunnels until we came to the end... Jarad's throne room.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the heroes of Jeer come to stop me," said Jarad.

"Release your prisoners," said the elf commander.

"I don't think so," said Jarad.

"Then you will have to die," I said.

"I would like to see you try to kill me," said Jarad.

"Where is the Etched Champion!?" said Samantha

"Why, he's right here," said Jarad as he pulled away a curtain revealing

the Etched Champion being held above acid.

" _Let me go, you undead freak_ ," said the Etched Champion.

"Never! Come and get me humans and elves! Christmas will forever be lost!" said Jarad.

Samantha and I attacked Jarad left and right, but he used telekinesis to throw us against a wall.

"You will never defeat me!" said Jarad.

"I have an idea. Everyone fire your bows!" said the elf commander. Everyone fired arrows from their bows except me because I don't use a bow. Jarad caught the arrows with telekinesis, but doing so was a mistake on his part.

The elf commander then shot the dawnbreaker sword from his bow at Jarad. Jarad could not catch the sword because he was already holding up the arrows. The sword went straight through him.

"No!" he said with his last breath. Then I jumped at him as he fell and I cut of his head with my sword. It was finished and Christmas was saved. Jarad's minions scattered when they heard their master was dead.

"Well, that was easy," said Samantha.

"Yes, too easy. He will probably come back," said the elf commander.

"Well, let's just hope that's not for awhile," I said.

6

Christmas Lives On

We heard the sound of chains breaking and we turned around to see the Etched Champion had broken out of his chains.

"You broke out?" said the elf commander.

"Why didn't you do that earlier?" said Samantha.

"I didn't want Jarad to throw me into the acid," said Etched Champion.

"We must get you back to the Myrs," I said.

"The Myrs? How do you know about the Myrs and how did you know about me, or why I was here?" said the Etched Champion.

"My name is Samantha and this is my boyfriend, Bill. We are the sworn protectors of the Myrs," said Samantha.

"We have come to rescue the former protector in hopes to save the Myr from death," I said.

"Only reason we came to this stupid place," I said.

"Shut up Bill," said Samantha

"Well, you have come and rescued the right metal being," said the Etched champion.

"Look, I found Santa's time device," said Samantha.

"Then grab it and let's go," said the elf commander.

When we exited the dungeon it was snowing. "Look Bill!" said Samantha.

"Talk about weird weather," I said.

"Lets keep moving," said an elf. We hurried our way to Selesnya, but first we made a stop to the treep camp and told King Tree that we did not see any of his men.

"I feared as much. Well thanks," said King Tree.

"No problem," I said.

"We've got to go now," said Samantha.

"Right. Well, be on your way. Don't let me keep you," said King Tree.

"Let's go Bill" said Samantha.

"Yeah ok, I'm coming," I said.

"Goodbye my human friends, may the future bring you good fortune," said King Tree.

We returned to Selesnya to see Nissa, Santa Claus and the fancy dressed elf waiting for us. "Ah, you're back. Do you have my time device?" said Santa Claus.

"Yes," said Samantha.

"Then that means Jarad must be dead," said Santa.

"Um yeah, of course he is dead. We wouldn't be here if he wasn't," I said.

"Bill, knock it off. That's very rude," said Samantha.

"What? I'm just saying it's a stupid thing to say," I said.

"Anyway, you have saved Christmas for the rest of Nirn's days. So Nissa and the kingdom of Selesnya have something for you," said Santa.

"Selesnya presents to you two golden medals," said Nissa.

"Thank you," said Samantha.

"Keep your gold," I said.

"Bill, take the damn medal," said Samantha.

"Fine," I said. I took the medal.

"You two truly are the heroes of Jeer," said Santa Claus.

"Thanks," said Samantha.

"Thanks, I guess," I said.

"Now you have someone to take back to the Myrs, right?" asked Santa.

"Etched said before we left the swamps he would find his way to the Myrs," said Samantha.

"Well, you must return to them as well," said Nissa.

"Right. So goodbye," said Samantha.

"Goodbye," said everyone.

Samantha and I left the building.

Epilogue

"Bill, you have not been very nice lately," said Samantha.

"Then maybe we should break up," I said.

"What!?" said Samantha.

"Yes, maybe we should break up," I said.

"You know what? Fine!" said Samantha. Then she stormed off. I stormed off in the other direction.

"I don't need her," I said.

"I don't need him," said Samantha.

"Or do I?" I said.

"Do I?" said Samantha.

"What was I thinking?" I said.

"This isn't right. I love him," said Samantha.

I ran back the way I came, but I was stopped by a man. "Out of my way, I have a girl to find," I said.

"Would you like the power to crush your enemies?" asked the man.

"Maybe, what did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Follow me," said the man. I followed the man, but he snuck behind me and knocked me out.

I woke up in a tent."What's going on?" I said.

"Hold still. This will only hurt a little," said a woman as she stuck a needle in me.

"Ahhhh!" I screamed.

Samantha was running back when she was stopped by a man.

"Out of my way," said Samantha.

"How would you like the power of the ancient blood?" said the man.

"No thanks, weirdo," said Samantha as she kept on walking.

"I don't take no for an answer," said the man was a vampire, so he attacked Samantha and bit her on the neck.

"Ahhhh!" screamed Samantha.

Samantha awoke in a dark place surrounded by vampires. "Welcome child. Soon you will be one of us," said the vampire leader.

THE END


End file.
